It’s Election Day, a significant moment in Bella’s personal journey.
She’s registered to vote in her previous home in rural West Tennessee, a two-hour drive from Nashville. Initially, she hadn’t planned to vote this year. But after a thought-provoking sermon on Sunday, she decided to take the entire Tuesday off, drive to West Tennessee, and cast her vote. Since work was out of the question, Bella saw this as an opportunity to ‘kill two other birds’ by renewing her driver’s license and passport, tasks that are easier to accomplish in her hometown.
The morning was beautiful. Upon awakening, how should Bella dress? Bella’s legal name is William Conway, but her chosen name is Isabella Conway. On her new lab jacket, Bella’s name is W. Isabella Conway.
William is not a dead name for Bella. After all, her prescriptions are sent under William Conway, and her legal registrations are all under William Conway. William is very much Bella’s living name. William supports Bella. Bella lives in William’s body after wrestling in high school, years of exercise and weight training, and continuing testosterone.
Every morning, Bella faces a unique challenge- deciding whether to present as William or in her preferred feminine attire. She takes great joy in her feminine presentations, but she’s also aware that her choice of clothing is a form of politeness to others, a daily negotiation of her identity and societal expectations.
As a physician, the obligation of dress is to make the patient feel comfortable and to make the physician’s personality invisible. Bella believes that all of William’s non-transgender patients and business acquaintances should deal with William. It is enough that William’s face now looks like Bella’s.
William’s driver’s license is going to expire in six months. William requires a ‘Star’ license, the latest and greatest in a government program. This ‘Star’ license, which requires a verified birth certificate, is particularly significant for the transgender community as it allows for a gender marker change.
In looking at William’s current permit, William needs help. William now looks like Bella 24/7. Bella loves hair. With her new stylist, Bella has a headful of hair, which she must comb thrice daily. Bella can wear her hair down, flowing, or place her hair in a ponytail or a business bun.
With her hair flowing, Bella does not look like William’s picture on her current driver’s license. With her hair in a ponytail or business bun, Bella looks like William “kind of.” With her hair and feminine black eyebrows, Bella looks like Bella. William needs a new license so that William will officially look like Bella.
When Bella dresses as William, her hair is in a ponytail. Bella realizes that William is a well-known person in rural West Tennessee. Bella wants to avoid shock sensibilities in West Tennessee since she must present William’s ID to vote, and William’s ID does not look like Bella’s. The voting registration was good.
People in rural West Tennessee are very kind and tolerant of eccentricity if their sensibilities are not offended. William in a dress would offend their sensibilities with no benefit. Dressed masculine, with a face looking Bella, William was welcomed to vote. William was also given a voting sticker to wear on his shirt.
After voting, William went to the Tennessee Driver’s License facility, operated by the Tennessee Department of Homeland Security. William was told he could not get a ‘star’ registration because he had no verified birth certificate. This is a common challenge for many transgender individuals, as obtaining a verified birth certificate that reflects their gender identity can be a complex and often costly process.
However, William was granted the opportunity to purchase a new eight-year extension on his driver’s license with a new picture. William obtained a new image with Bella’s face on William’s new license. All is good. When asked for a permit in the future, William will now look like Bella.
After a prompt and polite visit to the Department of Homeland Security, Bella went to the United States Post Office to obtain a renewal of William’s passport. On the passport application, William had the opportunity to admit Bella. Still, he did not when the warning was given that a passport labeled transgender carries a real risk of not gaining admittance to other countries upon travel.
William tries not to be a “dummy” or an ideologue. On the passport application, William indicated that he was male.
At the Post Office in Nashville, William was greeted by a charming, middle-aged woman who immediately recognized Bella. It must have been Bella’s face. It may have been Bella’s purse. The warm postal worker immediately spoke to Bella as a sister. She sent Bella to a stool for a picture of the password. Grabbing her camera, she joined Bella, looked into her camera, and said to Bella, ‘Your black hairband must go.’ With all that hair held to Bella’s head in myriad ways, Bella typically leaves her hairband on throughout the day. Immediately, Bella fumbled with her hairband. The Postal attendant came to Bella, helped her take her hairband off, and then placed her hand on Bella’s hair, moving it in position for a good picture, stating,’You need a new stylist.’ The kindness and understanding of the postal worker in this moment of genuine human connection brought a smile to Bella’s face.
Bella is delighted when she is treated kindly in a moment of genuine human connection.
Being trans makes every human interaction more of a gamble. When the person recoils with dislike, I learn to accept that. I remember that moment forever when the person treated Bella as an authentic feminine creature.