With a courageous heart, Bella embarked on a journey to embrace her femininity.
The first step was a visit to Target’s women’s clothes section, a place that initially filled her with anxiety. Trying on dresses was daunting, but as time passed, Bella bravely delved into the world of women’s fashion, learning about the nuances of women’s clothing. Despite her shyness, Bella found comfort in Palazzo pants, while the thought of dresses or skirts still instilled fear.
Amidst the confusion of YouTube makeup tutorials, Bella found a guiding light in her makeup coach, Katie Laine Thorton. With Katie’s unwavering support, Bella learned to apply essential makeup daily, with a subtle foundation that accentuated her features. Katie’s emphasis on hydration and skin care, both morning and night, was a constant reminder of the importance of self-care. Bella’s consistent use of the recommended skincare products was a testament to the support she received.
As Bella’s transition journey unfolded, she encountered a myriad of options. The world of clothes and makeup seemed overwhelming and complicated at first, but Bella’s determination never wavered. When discussing the possibility of permanent eyebrows and eyeliner with Katie-Laine, Bella was advised to master makeup. Undeterred, Bella delved into the world of cosmetics, discovering many choices in Nashville’s numerous medical spas.
Finally, Bella visited a plastic surgeon. Of course, William had to sign in at registration. William had to pay using William’s credit card. The staff welcomed William as Dr. Conway. That morning, William dressed in executive casual feminine attire, wearing Palazzo pants, a business blouse, and an attractive blazer. Bella wore her platform shoes. Bella also wore an elegant Nordstrum long-length coat made of faux leather.
Walking from her office to the plastic surgeon’s office, Bella received no additional attention from passersby. Bella carried her crossbody purse to the interview. From Bella’s perspective, she looked like the physician dressed in executive casual feminine. Bella believed that she was tastefully dressed but appropriately dressed.
Bella had a plan for the visit. She wanted prescription skincare from XO and a monthly systemic program, such as microneedling or peels. She also wanted a relationship with a plastic surgeon whom she could send her transgender patients who wished for facial beautification. Bella’s hopes were high.
The surgeon was polite. The surgeon was gracious. Upon looking at Bella, the surgeon stated that Bella would be wasting her money on prescription skincare. Bella was ambivalent. Bella’s mother was Swedish and had perfect facial skin at her death at age ninety-six. This fact was significant to Bella as she saw herself as the carbon copy of her mother. With Bella’s newfound long hair, Bella looked like her mother and longed to have the same flawless skin.
Bella considered whether the plastic surgeon was giving Bella excellent, honest advice because of professional courtesy. On the other hand, Bella had this global feeling that the plastic surgeon did not want Bella as a patient. This uncertainty added to Bella’s emotional turmoil, making her question the sincerity of the surgeon’s words.
Bella took the advice. Bella was grateful for the advice. Yet, Bella felt despondent, slightly paranoid, and deeply disappointed, wondering if William would have received the same advice as Bella. She could not shake off the feeling of being treated differently because of her transgender identity.
Being transgender has a vulnerability, with the expectation of rejection. Was Bella rejected? Was Bella simply paranoid for a moment? Bella will never know.